you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
