There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
