You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
