Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
