I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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