Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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