I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
