Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
