This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you inspire me to be a worse person
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
