i think i have herpe
just one?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
