maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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