you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
