he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
