How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize