Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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