Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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