No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
