jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
