He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
