dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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