why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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