But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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