I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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