I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
