we have officially lost it.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
