i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
