Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
