Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
