a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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