did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I love you.
Bad choice
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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