I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
