My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
