grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
