Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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