U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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