you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
