i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
