i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
