Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
