My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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