i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize