wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
