the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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