And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
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I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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