I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
