I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This baby is an asshole
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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