what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
