that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
