Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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