I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
