I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
