So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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