So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
