god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
