I'm drive I can fine osifer
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
