So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just want to make out with him forever
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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